Saturday, September 27, 2008

Chip & Dale

DATE: January 24, 1998
SUBJECT: Chip & Dale

We’ve been hearing noises in the house near the daughter’s room. I’m pretty sure it’s not haunted. What ghost would want to live with us? I sent my husband to the attic to investigate. It seems that we have inadvertently rented the room upstairs to two squirrels. They were peering through the small opening of space above the support beams. We couldn’t very well shoot the varmints without blowing a hole in the roof.

We have a live trap that was totally useless when we tried to catch gophers, but I thought it might have more appeal to squirrels. My husband was convinced that we should put the trap on the back porch.

"But the monsters are in the attic, I argued!"

Go figure. Two weeks went by, the apple rotted, and still no trophy. Yesterday my teenage daughter spoke to me for the first time in weeks. Her words were, “Come get this thing out of the attic, it’s driving me crazy.”

I replaced the apple with a pear and put the trap in the attic. The next morning I awoke to a knock on my bedroom door and more kind words from the teenager, “We caught it. Now come GET it so I can sleep!”

We have one of the critters in custody. I suppose my husband can take him to the dump, and let him out there when he takes the trash.

DATE: January 25, 1998
SUBJECT: RE: Chip & Dale

I told you when I was there last time that you needed to close up that hole in the gable of the house.

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