The Dog Came Back

We’re Back

Dear Fruit and Serial Lovers (as in series or cereal) Get it? All puns intended.

When we got Annie back from the kennel she was so well behaved that we thought we had the wrong dog for the first 24 hours. Then she ate the corner of the windowsill, slobbered on the daughter’s tennis shoes, drank from the toilet, and tore out the wastebaskets. Things are back to normal.

Indy got a buzz job (a haircut, for Pete’s sake!), and she’s not half the dog she used to be. There was enough hair in that pile to make another dog.

I’m sore in my back and have shin splints from being dragged down the street when I took Annie for a walk yesterday. I pulled with all my might to keep her from running. I was zigzagging from one side of the street to the other, jumping over drainage grates and tripping over curbs yelling, “Whoa, Annie, whoa!” It’s a wonder we didn’t both get run over by a car.

Speaking of Annie, she just unrolled the toilet paper and ran with it down the hall. I thought this was over when my kids were potty trained.

Many of you may not know (or care) that the Weimaraner is a German bred dog sometimes called the gray ghost, or in Annie’s case, the gray goat. I am awaiting AKC papers to find out which side of the family the Billy goat was on. I call her Aaaannnnnie but she doesn’t pay attention to me. She’s a chewer all right. She ate a plug-in air freshener off the wall. She shredded the Sunday edition of the Tennessean newspaper in 30 seconds flat. All the doorstops in the house are missing their tips. Perhaps she is called a gray ghost because she follows me around the house like a shadow, but that is a good thing since she needs constant attention. She also chewed the corner of the coffee table while I was watching. It happened so fast; I couldn’t get to her before her teeth made marks. I locked her in the bathroom with me so I could get dressed. While I was applying mascara she reached the sink counter and stole the towel I was using.

Annie and Indy have had quite a few quarrels. Indy may be blind, but she will not tolerate Annie sneaking up from behind her and biting her on the butt. However, no matter how many times Indy growls or snaps at Annie, she will not stop pestering her. The two girls just walked by looking like a choo-choo train. Annie’s nose was connected to Indy’s butt again.

Pass Pets made us sign a contract stating that we could not return the puppy once we left the store with her. I thought that was a stupid thing to even think of at the time. I could imagine a customer walking into the pet store and saying, “I’d like to return this puppy, it’s the wrong color, or I already have one like it.” The store clerk would say, “Sorry sir, but we can’t accept used dogs!” Customer, “I’ll pay you to take her back!”

I’ve got to get the phone cord out of Annie’s mouth. I’ll write later.

Love and puddles,

Espressy
(1999)