In-Peared

Now that I know Ruby Tuesdays is open on Thursdays, I’m going to try TGI Friday’s on Monday.

My Husband and I worked all weekend on the deck in triple digit weather. It was so hot that I melted, and had to be scooped up, and carried inside to the freezer to re-solidify. We still have no railing or steps, but at least the floor is on. We hammered half of a 25-pound box of nails into the flooring, and my neck and back is killing me. Indy, the blind dog is terribly confused. The steps are gone, and so is the edge of the world, as she knew it. In fact she walked right over to where the steps used to be, and fell off without her Super-dog cape. I heard a thud, which had to have knocked the breath out of her. I ran to the edge and stopped abruptly realizing I had no way to get down there to see if she was all right. She was walking around in circles as I ran from through the dining room and out the front door, and around the house. Talk about scaring the poop out her; she had already assumed the drop-a-load position when I got to her. I can’t believe she wasn’t injured.

I watered the flowers at the mailbox today. I was looking down and was in deep thought when I turned and started walking toward the house. Whatever I was thinking about was knocked out of my head when I walked straight into the Bradford Pear tree and got my head stuck between the branches. I’m not kidding. I couldn’t get my head out without tearing my earrings off my ears. I stood there with a bug on my nose and a bee buzzing around my eyes while I tried to figure out which branches I needed to move in order to free my head. My hands were scratched and jammed into the lower branches, which explains the blood on my shorts. I stood there singing “George, George, George of the Jungle” and laughed so hard that I forgot I had someone coming any minute to look at the dining room table we are selling. I got the leaves out of my hair and walked to the house as she drove up the driveway. I do hope my neighbors are satisfied with the free entertainment I provide them.

I really didn’t want to sell the table so cheaply, but the lady had a string of tattered children with her. She said she was 42, and it looked like she had earned those numbers. It was probably a set up, but I practically gave the table and chairs to her.

I’m going to see Ben Gay. I need a rub.

Love,
Spressy, the Great!

(1999)