Thursday, July 5, 2012

Affirmations for Seniors

I've been doing affirmations for about ten years and they really do work! I woke up the other morning (not this morning, but the other one) and had to chuckle at what I was hearing in my head.

I have not fallen; I can get up from the toilet.
I hear whenever I want to.
My organizational skills are being perfected as I sort my pills each day.
I Depend upon my Creator to keep me safe and dry at all times.
I have not been sexually abused; my nurse gave me an enema.
Sports, such as bending over and deep breathing, are highly overrated.

I am getting better and better at using my toes to pick up items from the floor.
I remember where I put my hearing aid each day.
My sense of smell is still keen. I just farted.
My sleep number is 9-1-1.
I do not have bed sores; I am lying on my dentures, again.
I know my doctor’s names—all three of them; Ben, Gay, and . . .
My caregiver’s name is . . . My caregiver’s name is . . . (try again later)
I know and understand where I put my glasses; I can see to find them.
I bet my sweet Aspercreme I can still drive a car—fast. I exceeded the speed limit ten years ago and I can do it again.
My food is getting softer with each meal.
I only use my nurse call button when necessary.
God grant me the serenity to accept the diapers I cannot change; courage to change the ones I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

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