Monday, January 19, 2009

Expressy's Clove Loathe

Hey Hot Tub Hellions,

I woke up this morning with my lower back hurting. My legs were numb except for the sharp pains that stabbed me every few seconds. When I got home from work, I drew myself a warm bath while glancing through my aroma oils. I read the label on the clove oil. It said that it is good for toothaches. Toothaches, backaches- they both hurt like hell. I put in a few drops of clove oil, some anise and a little lemon. Pretty soon it smelled like someone had dusted the dentist’s office with lemon Pledge while sucking on a licorice stick. I liked the smell, so I added more of each.

As I began to relax, I noticed a tingling sensation in my legs. Good, it’s working quickly, I thought. Then my back started itching, and my whole body started burning and stinging. I jumped up and grabbed a towel so fast I nearly fell into the toilet. By then, I felt like an uninvited guest at an ant colony. I wanted to rinse myself with cool water but the water in the tub was so deep it could be ten minutes before it drained. I ran past the open blinds of the guest room on my way to the other bathroom. I was sweating profusely as I rinsed until the pain started to subside.

Why didn’t I just use Calgon?


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